My Father's Mistress

She stands in the doorway.
Smoking. Smiling. Her hair smells like piss and her eyes are sullen.
Wrinkled skin and a hideous gait.
She is my father's mistress
I know her too well.
She arrives at once.
Hidden by darkness and smelling like wine.
She doesn't talk, and she only emotes through the throes of a spastic orgasm.

Her breath smells like ash. Her breath smells like ash. Her breath smells like ash.
Yellowed teeth. Broken fang. Coarse disposition. She screams something insane.
I never wanted to know her. She never bothered to meet me
She's killing his mind. She's feeding his lust. A seed of hatred buried in her womb. A load dislodged in the back of her throat

She is my father's mistress
She drips like liquid from a slender bottle
She just wants to fuck him. She's keeping him sane
She comes here for comfort. She puts a knife in my brain

Now I know what it's like now.
Hatred in the absence of love
My body's expanding.
I'm alive
I'm alive
I just want to know why.
She kept it so long

An ice pick. A crooked throat strangled shapeless, and unidentified. Piano wires and broken teeth.
Addiction. Addiction. Addict. Infect her. Infect me. Stabbed through a glory hole and pissfucked forever.


Take a deep drag now
Keep the poison close. Starving egos. Feeding lust. Growing ever colder

Starve the ego
Starve the ego

Scowling and foul and deep in a hole
Something mad
Something loud
Something deaf
Something proud

Love? Fuck. Hate. Destroy.

Life comes and goes in a series of spastic orgasms. Bodily fluids and shallow goodbyes
Androgynous and proud, and stuck in a cycle of deceit. Midnight orgies in the school for the blind
Superfluous, fickle, digital images all flash their neon display. Find me on Twitter. Friend request my Facebook. Tinder and Match, Eharmony. Swipe left. Swipe left. Swipe left.  From the glowing screens and the deceptive smiles, the wry headline it bleeds

Without emotion, without consequence. Blase' and remorseless. Click and drag, click and reload. Endless profiles with their meaningless headlines. Bionic. Subversive. Retinas bleed and minds overload

Nothing here is left worth knowing. No romance. No love. Love? Emotions fading and the eyes are all wandering. Thoughts stray. The curious minds all wonder. Orifices pulverized by strangers. Phallic and swollen. Ripe for the touch. Swipe left. Swipe left. Swipe left.

Love? Fuck. Hate. Destroy.

The Isolationist

Yesterday I watched him walk down to the dock with his dog. He stood there for what seemed like an eternity. He was silent, and observant. His dog did not stir. The sun began to set over the lake, and he sat in the grass and watched the stars begin their gradual ascent. He seemed to be serene, and he cast a peaceful portrait against a pastel sunset. He looked like every song that reminded you of every beautiful woman you've ever loved

I watched him and I wondered what he was thinking. I watched this man, so forlorn and so seemingly alone. His emotionless disposition made me feel at ease. His dog at his side quiet, and observant as he. I wondered if he had a wife. If his children were grown. If he had grandkids, and if they made him glow in a way that the evening sky illuminated him.

His beard was thin, and graying. He looked brittle, and as if he had seen the rigors of combat, or perhaps many years upon years of heavy substance abuse. His thin, whispy legs and gaunt physique suggested such. His eyes appeared weary and sullen. Perhaps he has seen things that would make a lesser man weep. Perhaps his weary eyes held secrets.

I watched him rise from his spot in the grass, and he stood and kept vigil toward the lake for a few moments. From his pocket he pulled a piece of tattered paper. A note. He laid this in the grass at his feet and began walking back up the dock, and ambled off toward the darkness, the setting sun at his back. After a few long purposeful strides he stopped, and he glanced back at me. He watched me for a moment, and he smiled. I smiled, and nodded my head in acknowledgement. He turned and walked into the dark, into the shadow, beyond the light of the setting sun. After a few moments he was out of sight. This man unknown. His dog as silent as he. And that was when I finally heard the shrill cries of the locusts, the insects of the night and the owls baying their nighttime elegies

In my own curious proclivity, I approached the shore line, toward his tattered letter. I picked it up for a close glance. There were a few lines of scrambled verses, and illegible scrawled nonsense.At the bottom of the letter, I read a line. It was then that I understood. And it was then that I knew I would never see this man, nor his dog ever again.

I sat upon that bank and wept

Speculation and Grace Beneath the Collapse of Civilization

Last night I put on my sunglasses and went outside, so I could watch the sun collide with the moon
There were colors, explosions, sparks, and embers.
 I watched the fire fall to the earth, and listened to the sounds of scorched grass and dying animals
 The night came alive in the faces of the screaming anguished. The pain in their faces and the panicking throngs of people rushing the streets

I watched this display unflinchingly, as I laid in the grass on my hill. I was calm, and eased out of my shoes and felt the wet grass pallid beneath my feet, and I was reminded of the first time I saw you
I remembered the way you walked into the room. I remembered your smell
I thought of the way you would rub my hand when I went to grasp it. The colors in your eyes and the wrinkles in the corners of them. Your skin and it's smell, the way you observed me when I talked, and the way you kept patient when I stuttered
The first time you took my breath away. The night was aglow under street lamps. You kept me tight and held me close, and for the first time in my life, I felt like I was part of something that was greater than my own pathetic,moribund existence. I felt 36 feet tall
You were always warm and smiling. I was the sightless worm beneath the boot
You wore your sun dress, and I remembered your elegance and grace as you slipped out of it
I remember the way you would tug at my hair when I tasted your womb

I remember when you told me all the things I never wanted to hear about myself
The night my dreams fell back to earth, and I returned to the pit. Desperation, isolation and despair. A return to reality. Gutted, emptied, bleeding and stricken down. The harsh cold repugnance of being and the strife I always knew, came roiling back and spat in my face. An inevitable collapse. Crucified by the illusion of love. A cold, callous reminder. My eyes rolling back and cowled in shame

I wonder where you are, and I wonder if you are watching the sky like me.
I wonder if you are scared, or if this fire and ash, and all of the dead things around us are amusing
I know I won't ever see you again. I almost don't think I need to
I hope you think of me, the way I thought of you
Surrounded by the brilliance of the fires, the embers and their dance
Somehow I think you'll find the beauty of it all, and maybe you smile. Maybe you laugh
The sweet, languishing irony. If we survive maybe you can sew up my wounds
Hear the children screaming, the sirens all blaring
Behold the water, shimmering under suspended fire 
I hope it reminds you of me. I want you to see the sight of a fiery rain
I hope you cherish it as I do When  the sky line collapses and the air is too thick, I wonder if I am among your dying thoughts. Everything is so bright here. I hope you wear sunglasses, too

When I watch it I will be smiling. I hope I'm the last one alive

Chemical Woman

Last night I saw her again. That neon blue chemical woman. Her eyes are teal, her hair made of fire.
Her lips are painted black, she coats them with scentless, tasteless venom.
Everything she touches, explodes. She speaks in spastic bursts of hissing smoke
A liquid disposition, and she rarely emotes
Stalking the ground like a predatory cat on the hunt.
If the lighting is right, you will see her fangs.
My throat was ripe. My mind was eager. 
Ivory, pointed, and penetrating all. It's a shame that my flesh was so tender

Her bloodless body moves so serene. Captivating me when it sways
She moves like an eel in the ocean. There are no words for such grace

I woke up in the grass and the sun shone upon me. I think she left me here to bleed
I should have known, to never touch her . I can smell the burning of my skin
I can't quite tell, if I ever knew her. Sometimes the memory seems so hazy

 That chemical woman, she'll burn you alive. Serpentine kiss that wraps 'round your tongue
She'll pull out your spine, and she'll swallow your insides
She won't even blink, as you recoil in unfathomable pain
You will lie there dying, your flesh rendered to liquid
The irony is such that it burns you insane

Next time I will watch her from a distance. She would breathe life into lesser men
To watch them rise, and to watch them fall again
I'll watch them bleed, I'll hear them scream. Maybe I'll laugh and turn away
Such elegant murder, such clever deception
Wrapped in the thorns of love, and cloaked by a smile so cunning, so wry

To only know such tempting persuasion
The apples of Eden would rot away

A Good Dog

A noose and a chair, and a room full of hate
Drawn curtains to a world long forgotten, neglected
The patchwork elegance, the conjured and manufactured happiness
Long gone. Tucked away and buried
The deepest part of the mind
The darkest recess of the skull
Memories of laughter and smiles
Coated with dust and broken
This soil long tainted
The atmosphere since poisoned
Salt the earth and cut to the root
Perceptions of grandiosity, cut down
A sky gone gray and a playground decayed
At the hanging tree all the flowers are dead
At the hanging tree, the leaves have turned black
The fruit is rotten, and it tastes like nothing at all
If there were a god on that day he would surely have frowned
If there were a god on that day he surely would have looked away
The dogs are smiling
The dogs are howling
That dog is dying
That dog is scowling
If that dog only knew
If that dog could only see
If god
If god
If god
No god
NO god
Is god?
What god?

What god?
Good dog