Thanks, Sorry, Goodbye

I went on a date last weekend, against my better judgement. My latest foray back into the world of dating comes at the behest of a newfound sense of confidence and frame of mind I have discovered within myself, so I thought this time things might turn out differently. Some people never get tired of being wrong all the time, myself included. So I fired up my old online dating profile and got back behind the wheel. I forgot to fasten my seatbelt or have my brake pads checked, because I was taken for a ride. Quite literally and figuratively.

For the sake of anonymity, let's call her Susan. Susan is 34, and works in the healthcare industry. She has two children. We spoke for a few days online and then exchanged numbers. She called me late one evening and we spoke for about an hour, and established somewhat of a good rapport. Had some good banter, laughter. You get the idea. We then made plans to get together the next night, which would be Friday. We agreed to meet up at Panera bread, because 'Susan' is on some sort of diet and cannot drink alcohol. After we wrap up our phone conversation, Susan sends me an unsolicited photo of herself. Nothing X rated, but perhaps a bit racy. I smiled and made a polite comment in return and went to bed.

The next evening, I am preparing for my date with Susan. I dress up nice, within reason. I don't want to appear to be too eager to please, yet I don't want to look like a slob. I arrive at Panera at about ten minutes to 6, as was our agreed time. I have a seat and wait patiently. Right at about 6 PM, through the door comes my date. Oh my god. She looked good in her photos, but I was not prepared for how actually attractive this woman was in person. She was a stone cold stunner. She was 5'7", with an athletic build. Shoulder length brown hair, and steely, piercing greenish blue eyes. She had high cheekbones and absolutely perfect teeth. A nice evenly tanned complexion. She had perky breasts(she would later reveal to me that they were implants. I then discovered this for myself when her top came off) and a nice, evenly rounded backside. For all practical purposes, Susan was clearly out of my league. That isn't to say that I don't think I am an attractive or worthy specimen myself, but I am average to decent looking at best, and Susan was a knockout. So right away I realize I am going to be in over my head here. Then I took a second to compose myself, realize I have nothing to fucking lose anyway, and I cranked up my game to ten. I approached her and went in for a hug, and we ordered our food and went outside to sit on the patio and eat.


It was a gorgeous mid June evening, and the sun hung low in the sky and there was no wind. Susan and I engaged in lighthearted banter, typical 'get to know each other' type of stuff. I start making a joke here and there, and she is laughing and smiling. I avoid talking too much about myself, as I want to keep an air of mystery. Women seem to like that sort of thing. I also avoid complimenting her on her physical appearance. A woman as gorgeous as Susan is likely used to hearing these things all the time. So we talk about worldly topics and keep things sort of general and for the most part, we keep it pretty basic. She seems affable and sweet, and she seems to be enjoying herself. After we finish our dinner, I gingerly ask her what she would like to do next, as the night is young and we seem to be enjoying one another's company. She suggested we take a walk in the local park. I agree. We decide to take my vehicle. So we head to the park that isn't more than a 3 minute drive away, and we take a walk through the woods. Past stoners and hippies playing frisbee golf, past bicyclists, and over a bridge that sat upon a clear and fast moving stream. We are having a pleasant time, and Susan and I begin to learn more about one another. It is during this walk that it becomes clear to me that Susan has more than just a passing fancy in me. She begins exhibiting all of the telltale signs that she has genuine interest. She begins making remarks about my height and stature, and throughout our evening trek she begins to playfully touch me and make subtle physical contact with me. Things are going well, and I know it. Maybe I will see this girl again, I think to myself. When we wind up back at my car, she looked at me and she cooed in her soft and sexy voice that she "isn't ready to say goodnight yet". I then ask her, "Well, what would you like to do?" I then start wracking my brain for activities for her and I to engage in that would not include drinking, because like I mentioned earlier, she does not drink. Then before I could suggest that we "go see a movie", because that seemed like the right thing to say, Susan asked me if I would like to come back to her condo with her. She flashed me a coy smile and I said "Of course."

I take Susan back to her car at Panera and follow her to her condo, that sits in a suburban section on the NE side of town. It's a nice place.  We get inside and Susan asks me if I would like to watch a movie. She asks me to make the selection. I choose 'Bridesmaids', because I assume she likes it, and fuck it I like that movie too. I then go use the restroom to empty my bladder. When I get back out, Susan has made a nice little spot on the couch for us, with me right next to her and she has an ice cold glass of lemonade ready for both of us. Clearly understanding what is going on here, I sit down next to Susan and within a half hour of the movie rolling I make my move. Things start to get pretty heavy and for a brief moment I consider slowing things down, because after all, I like this girl. She seems sweet, very intelligent and super endearing. It also helps that she is a stone cold fox. Perhaps we shouldn't move so fast? Perhaps we slow down, and perhaps I should verbally communicate my feelings about this. Perhaps I am not a beta male bitch boy pussy and I know when a girl clearly has a want and a need to be satisfied. So we proceed with our activities. It is at this point that Susan asks me, practically panting, if I would like to move our activities to her bedroom. Not being a fucking moron, I agree and off we went.

The things that happened behind those bedroom doors would make Jenna Jameson turn red. This woman was 5'7" 120 lbs of sexual Tyrannosaurus Rex. No orifice went un-pulverized, and nothing was off limits. It was as if I was some sort of carnal nourishment to her, so ravenous was her sexual appetite. I was blown away, literally. This deviant behavior occurred all night, and well into the morning. I awoke about 7:30 AM, and we had the traditional post-coitus snuggle session, everything seemed natural. Now remember, since we weren't drinking the night before, everything was done sober, so there was no 'next morning awkwardness'. Susan went and made coffee, we talked for about half an hour, and I was on my way. Things to do that day, as well did she. We tentatively made plans to get together Sunday evening. I suggested maybe we could catch a movie. She said "Yeah, we could probably do that, give me a call or text me!". I brought Susan in for a kiss and was on my way. I sauntered down her sidewalk and I felt like I was 36 fucking feet tall. Susan made me feel like a man that night. I left feeling as fulfilled and as good as I have in some time. After all, as well as things went that night, I surely would see this amazing woman again right?

Fast forward to Sunday. I send Susan a text at about 1 PM. The text read exactly this:

"Hey Susan, hope you had a great weekend :) Would you like to see a movie with me tonight"?

I waited all afternoon for a response, and heard nothing. I assumed perhaps she was busy, as it was Father's Day. Maybe she had plans with her family, maybe she had her kids that day, who knows. As the day turned to evening, a slow creeping sadness set in. I know that today's 21st century woman isn't away from her phone that long, and something has clearly gone awry. Finally at 7:30 PM she gets back to me. Her text reads:

"It isn't going to work out, thanks sorry goodbye"

I sat there and looked at my phone and blinked in disbelief for several seconds. What? I could not believe what I was reading. Then I paced around my house and started to laugh to myself out loud. Then I was angry, for about ten minutes. What had occurred in less than 48 hours, that I was no longer interesting to this woman? In a time span of two hours, I went from meeting her for the first time, and then I was inside her. Bam. Jut like that. Clearly, I should have maybe seen warning signs. She seemed sweet and affable, and like she had genuine interest in me. Maybe she was just extremely horny, and perhaps she hadn't had a dick in awhile and she deemed me worthy of a good old fashioned dust off. Maybe she does this kind of thing all the time.  Maybe, sometime in that 48 hour span, she had found a new man online and found him to be more interesting or enticing than I was to her. To me, this is the most likely scenario.  Therein lies the problem with dating in the 21st century. Every single attractive single woman out there, EVERY SINGLE ONE, constantly has an endless stream of men hounding her day and night. If she appears single and looking, it is even worse. Evey single woman has a dating profile. They're all on Tinder. Their Facebook profile is constantly getting blown up by thirsty beta dudes itching at a chance to get into their pants. Watch for it. Next time that single fox on your friends list uploads her ubiquitous 'selfie', watch for the likes and the comments to roll in. Thirsty dudes. With so much male attention rolling in, most of these women will crumble and give into at least one of their pathetic advances. And with women being as seemingly fickle and aloof as they are nowadays, coupled with this sort of constant stream of attention and hounding, and it is easy to see how a woman would flake, just like Susan did. The problem isn't me. The problem isn't Susan. The problem is dating nowadays and society at large.

So in closing, my single bachelor friends, it is important to realize that I harbor no ill feelings toward this woman. She apparently got all she wanted or needed from me, and moved on. Of course, I enjoyed it myself as well. I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little bit disappointed that I won't get to see her again. She seemed pretty alright. But you just have to go on to the next one. Take this info and heed it wisely. Realize that this is going to happen to you. There is no point in taking things personally. 21st century dating has evolved to a point of no return, and a lot of women no longer want to engage in traditional courtship rituals. Short, oftentimes crude text message banter is typically all it will take to get their attention in today's dating climate. This isn't meant to suggest all women are like this. But it seems so commonplace nowadays and the precedent has been set. Don't give in fellas. Don't compromise your values and when women like 'Susan' flake on you, next them and never look back. I didn't even respond to Susan's terse 'fuck-off' text, and I felt no reason to. At the very least, she responded. I give her props for that.

Realize that you have to stand out among all of the thirsty beta clinger-ons, and stop giving these women the attention that they have become so accustomed to.

 In a society run amok with cowards and sheep, adapt the mindset of a lion. You might not make a lot of friends that way, but you will feel better about yourself.