The Boner

A lot of folks out there don't like to talk about boners and sexual situations, but I have never been comfortable falling into society's PC trappings or felt compelled to quell my opinions or thoughts on these subjects. So with all that being said, I want to tell a tale of a time when I got a boner in an awkward situation. Buckle up, assholes.

When I was in high school I worked for a canoe rental service. I started when I was 15, and I worked there through the summer into my senior year, when I was 17. It was  my favorite job ever. Not only did I get to work outside, but it was pretty physical stuff, lifting canoes over your head and loading them onto trailers. You got to hang out by the water, free canoe rentals when they weren't fully booked, you get the idea. It was a cool job for a high school kid. A big part of the job was waiting down at the canoe landing point, and loading the canoes onto the trailers to bring back up to the launch point. We ran a shuttle service, and when the actual shuttle bus was making runs and wasn't down there, we would ferry people back up to the top in the large econo-size vans that pulled the trailers. As you can probably imagine, being on a river all day in the sun and downing booze can dull a lot of people's inhibitions, and my co-workers and I saw many strange or amazing sights in our time working down there. It wasn't uncommon to see tits and asses or any combination of either of those things. We all got used to it, and it became a perk of the job. Not that we actually sought out to do that sort of thing, because hey we had work to do and when 150+ canoes are coming in at a good clip, you have to be on your toes. But there were times when it was just about waiting for the canoes to come in, and when it became later in the season, business came to a lull and there was downtime to actually "stop and smell the roses" so to speak.

It was late summer, 2002. I was 16. I was a virgin, and hadn't had much success with females at that point, as I was always pretty shy and reserved in those days. I didn't start really letting loose or partying until I was about 18. If I recall, it was a weekday evening, probably 6:30 or 7pm. There were maybe 70,80 canoes out that day and we had them all loaded up save for the last two or three out on the water. When they finally came in, it was a group of about 6. They were all drinking heavily, and they were having a good time that day. Two of them were females. The rest were frat boy type dudes. We loaded them up, and I had arranged to drive them the twenty minute trek back to the starting point where their cars were parked. After they all loaded up and got their coolers and belongings in the van, we were off. About 2 minutes into the ride, one of the females sauntered up to the cab of the van and asked if she could sit on my lap for the drive up to the top. At first I relented, because for one, it would be illegal, and for two, I am working and this seemed to me to be slightly unprofessional. She wasn't taking no for an answer, and she plopped down on my lap. I asked her how old she was, and her name. She said she was 26. Ten years older than me at the time. I don't recall her name. She was attractive. Brunette girl, with deep blue eyes and a nice bronze tan. Me being the hopeless dork that I was, asked if any of the guys in back were her boyfriend. She said they weren't, and they were egging her on heavily. She proceeded to nibble on my ear and kiss me on my face and cheek, and a few times during the ride back, she jammed her tongue into my ear canal. Really giving me a good worm tongue-ing. I was flabbergasted. I didn't know how to react or what to do, so I just tried to concentrate on driving without wrecking the van. She continued this behavior all the way back to the canoe rental. Once we turned into the parking lot, she hopped off my lap and there it was. I was wearing gym shorts that day, and I was sporting the most rigid erection of my life. She was somehow amazingly surprised by this, and she immediately started laughing and pointing at it and proclaiming "oh my god you guys, he has a huge boner". I didn't know what to do other than hope it would subside as quickly as it had blossomed. They all laughed and she clambered into the backseat with her friends and they all exchanged high fives. We hopped out and she gave me a big hug and another kiss, and they were gone.

So yeah, I got a boner one time when I was at work. I just wonder what ever came of that classy woman and her persuasive worm tongue-ing techniques.